Redneck Sayings and Quotes
He who laughs last probably doesn’t understand the joke.
Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a banana tree.
If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane!
If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary form.
Don’t worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.
If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.
If the Lord had meant us to fly, He would have given us aluminum skin.
If you lie to the computer, it will get you.
You couldn’t hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.
If you see an onion ring - answer it!
I’d rather jump barefoot off a 6-foot step ladder into a
5 gallon bucket full of porcupines than…
She’s wound up tighter than the girdle of a baptist minister’s
wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast.
My sister is soooooo ugly, we had to tie a pork chop around her
neck to get the dogs to play her.
You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place.
It’s colder than a mother-in-law’s love.
She’s uglier than a bucket full of armpits. Bless her heart.
He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Ain’t no point in beatin’ a dead horse…’course, can’t hurt none either.
I’d love to have a dress just like that, but I don’t go to many Puerto Rican proms.
He’s so stupid, he couldn’t find his ass with both hands.
March 27th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I am as nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs
May 31st, 2008 at 8:56 pm
He’s so stupid, he couldn’t find his rear end in the dark with 2 hands and a flashlight!
September 14th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
A day without beer is like a day without s*x…. you cant live without it
September 24th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
shit is inevitable
December 16th, 2008 at 9:57 am
i enjoy readin stuff like this…..especially when im having a bad day! keep up the good work guys…..=]
January 13th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
your brother is soo ugly if he sits forward.
January 23rd, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Im more antsy than a one eyed cat trying to watch 9 rat holes.
February 4th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
You might be a redneck if the dashboard of your car doubles as the dining room table!
February 25th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
slicker than snot off a rooster’s beak.
March 9th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
I always like a good ,smart or funny saying or qoute,but that one with the dress and puerto rican prom its not very funny what you meant by that? I donot get it nor I believe I will. OPutting down any nationality or by that fact culture its not funny at all. If I am wrong then someone please explain it to me ? thank you
March 29th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Luz e
it funny cuz all them ricans dress all colorful and what not
April 13th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
im happier than a ten peckered billy goat with a bucket full of quarters on nickle night at a whore house
April 17th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
One of my faves is “Well butter my b*tt and call me a biscuit!”
May 9th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
She was so ugly she could trick or treat over the telephone