Funny Quotes and Sayings
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
- George Carlin
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- Robin Williams
A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
- George Eliot
I am short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
- Woody Allen
Sex was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
- Woody Allen
We need an energy bill that encourages consumption.
- George Bush
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
- Burt Bacharach
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
- Harry S. Truman
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
- Mark Twain
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
I am an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
- Gabor
ARCHITECT is One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
- Ambrose Bierce
I either Get what I want or I change my mind.
- Anonymous
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
- Roseanne
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns
Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
- Anonymous
Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
- Gary Busey
March 11th, 2008 at 8:34 am
ARCHITECT is One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
I know that is one hundered percent true!!!
May 1st, 2008 at 8:16 am
these r so funny!!! i luv em!
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
It was too politic-ish for me, not so funny, but some of them were.
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
hehehe…me too
October 1st, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Why for so many times i never thought of browsing this website and just now ive realized that this is the most interesting thing to read specially when you’re tired…
October 15th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
The Abe Lincoln one is funny but it does have a point if you put people in place of cats and babies in place of kittens.
November 9th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
If you can’t convince them, confuse them
its a great idea
November 18th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
they were funny , i liked them
January 12th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I thought they could have been better but most of them were nice and some even funny.
February 13th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
lol i cant keep from lol
March 20th, 2009 at 4:19 am
So Gr8^^
Really Luv It XD
March 23rd, 2009 at 10:59 am
never be a pest endless you want mom to fly you west
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:28 am
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha……..NOT!
April 29th, 2009 at 11:42 am
haaaaaaaaa not funny at ol
May 3rd, 2009 at 4:49 pm
ermm not sure were to put these
sticks and stones may break my bones
if they do, my fist will f*cking hurt you
treat life like a dog !!
if you cant eat or sh*g it
p*iss on it and walk away
the americans always do the right thing…
right after they’v done everthing else (winston churchill)
little miss muffit,
sat on her tuffit,
knickers all tatterd and torn,
it wasnt a spider that sat down beside her,
but a little boy getting the horn,
i acknolegde and understand that Im not perfect
*99.999% but honestly.. somtimes it scares me
men have two brains, the one in their head.. and the one they listen to
sticks and stones may break my bones
but whips and chaines exite me
so tie me up, then throw me down
and show me that you like me
May 8th, 2009 at 6:31 am
Don’t ever sleep with your eyes closed
Micheal Jackson lives in our walls!!